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Who Needs a Spanking? (Alexia's Books)

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They recommend not using aggressive behavior with your kids as it can have negative effects and ultimately doesn’t change children’s behavior.

As children age, spanking should become even less frequent as other types of consequences are utilized. It seems to mark a point in our life that we can look back on and remember just how naïve or arrogant or lazy or deceptive we were and how easily we were caught.

I was by no means a bad kid growing up, but every kid makes mistakes growing up and has to answer to their actions. Instead of spanking a four-year-old–in front of her friends and other parents–for opening her friend’s present at her friend’s birthday party, we should calmly take her outside and explain what she did wrong. What’s Trending Did my Water Break Quiz: How to tell if your water broke How Many Clothes do Children Really NEED? These omissions may not seem like a huge deal when kids are younger, but how will these situations play out when kids are older and the stakes are a lot higher?

So whatever response you give has to be compassionate with their worldview that routine physical abuse is normative and good. There is a growing number of people who are willing to blame-shift the entire outcome of their life rather than taking their licks and moving on. Add on to that, growing up in a society which promoted a ‘better, gentler’ way of raising children, it seemed like the right thing to do. After all, “…children who spend more time responding to conflicts…spend more time thinking with their primitive brain (which is mostly autonomous) than their cerebral brain, (which is mostly wired for logic). The steps in the "Disciplining Nonviolently" section can help you choose a more effective way to change your child's behavior, such as natural consequences.

If she wasn’t supposed to be on the trampoline in the first place (especially without zipping the safety net closed and without adult supervision) and she’s accustomed to being spanked for not following instructions, she’s likely to hide the true cause of her injury. While some lyrics make more sense with knowledge of the movie's story line that they were written for, other Disney lyrics are very relatable and inspiring for any listener. I have been on the positive and negative ends of discipline with the paddle, where in some cases it was used as the only means to discipline me and others it was reserved for the worst offenders – still me – and was administered with extreme prejudice.

While we may be applying the Pavlov’s dog conditioning technique when we spank our children (through an attempt to make them stop their actions in fear of pain), the idea of teaching this through hitting is–at best–hypocritical. I’ve talked my friends’ ears off about romances gone awry, career setbacks, familial disagreements — but the dire truth is, I’m sad because my brain is wired to be sad. But from a child’s perspective, there’s no difference between being spanked and hitting a friend for taking away a toy. Stepping out of your comfort zone is always exhilarating, but don't force yourself to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. Spanking has gotten a bad rap in the past few years, even though for a lot of us, it was our parent’s discipline of choice.The child may not have realized that what they did was wrong, or maybe you misunderstood what happened. But believe me, never has a term “knock some sense into them” been more true than when parenting teens (especially older almost-adult teens). This was usually a quick swat on the behind to get them to take a breath and so I could get their attention. Pay extra attention if you are spanking on the child's bare bottom: do not leave anything other than mild and temporary redness (if any), and always pull the child's pants and underwear back up immediately after the spanking ends (if you spank this way). While this form of punishment can have negative consequences, parents are sometimes overwhelmed and need a way to get kids attention, even if it isn’t an effective way to change a child’s behaviors.

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